Thinking About My Angel
by kissacazador
Summary: A serious one-shot that takes place in Season Seven, weeks after Dean finds Castiel's trench coat. Slightly AU- Dean/Castiel were lovers. No sex, just emotions, angst and family bonding. Dean is thinking about his lost love…his angel while listening to Aerosmith.


Thinking About My Angel

Summary: A serious one-shot that takes place in Season Seven, weeks after Dean finds Castiel's trench coat. Slightly AU- Dean/Castiel were lovers. No sex, just emotions, angst and family bonding. Dean is thinking about his lost love…his angel while listening to Aerosmith.

Rated T for moderate language and light sexual references.

Author's Notes: The song "Angel" is written By: Desmond Child and Steven Tyler; performed By: Aerosmith

I Do Not Own 'Supernatural', it belongs to the Eric Kripke and the CW and I'm only using them for the entertainment of this story.

Thinking About My Angel

The Impala sat idle as Dean watched his brother check into another cheap motel in nowhere, USA. It had been a shitty couple of weeks since the death of his one true love.

Sam tried to get his brother to talk, but the man wanted to grieve the only way he knew how…keeping it inside with a side of liqueur.

Dean flipped through each crappy radio station and stopped when he heard a DJ mention they were playing an Aerosmith marathon.

"Finally, something good." The oldest Winchester mumbled as he got comfortable.

_**Angel**_

_I'm alone  
>Yeah I don't know if I can face the night<br>I'm in tears  
>And the cryin' that I do is for you<br>I want your love let's break the wall between us  
>Don't make it tough I'll put away my pride<br>Enough's enough, I've suffered and I've seen the light_

*(Chorus)*

_You're my angel  
>Come and save me tonight<br>You're my angel  
>Come and make it alright<br>You're my angel  
>Come and save me tonight<em>

Don't know what I'm gonna do about this feeling inside  
>Yes, It's true loneliness took me for a ride<br>Without your love I'm nothing but a beggar  
>Without your love, a dog without a bone,<br>What can I do?  
>I'm sleepin' in this bed alone<p>

_*(Chorus)*_

_You're the reason I live  
>You're the reason I die<br>You're the reason I give  
>When I break down and cry<br>Don't need no reason why  
>Baby, baby, baby<em>

*(Chorus)*

Before the song was over, Dean had a single tear falling. He only had memories now, since the blue-eyed angel was been taken from him forever. _Why have I lost so much? When will I be happy?_

Dean didn't see his brother coming and was very startled when the door opened. Sam stood there like a deer in the headlights, not knowing what to do or say. He's concerned that his frail brother is going to fall apart and wondered if that's happening right now.

"Jeez Sammy, are ya going to stand there all night?"

"Uh…"

"Get in already." Dean barked as he wiped another falling tear.

The youngest Winchester slowly sat, then handed his brother the key. Dean parked the vehicle in front of the room followed by the duo grabbing their bags from the trunk.

Sam couldn't help but notice the glance Dean gave to Castiel's trench coat and wanted to bring it in, but the trunk is slammed before he made a move.

Once inside the small dark room, Dean sighed, "Sammy, why don't ya take a shower first."

"No, Dean, you go first."

Presenting a small smile, Dean waved his hand and motioned for his younger sibling to use the bathroom first.

Sam accepted with a fake smile and entered the bathroom knowing his brother wanted to be alone with his thoughts about a love lost.

The lonely male poured himself a couple shots of whiskey and softly sang,

"I'm alone Yeah I don't know if I can face the night -I'm in tears -And the cryin' that I do is for you -I want your love let's break the wall between us -Don't make it tough I'll put away my pride -Enough's enough, I've suffered and I've seen the light."

Dean paused as he poured another shot, "You're my angel -Come and save me tonight -You're my angel -Come and make it alright -You're my angel -Come and save me tonight."

He poured an additional shot and flopped onto the bed, mumbling, "Cas, you're my angel, and I need ya to come back to me…please." Another tear fell, "I love you and want us to be together again."

What Dean didn't realize was his brother standing in the doorway listening and watching. His eyes filled with sorrow and sympathy, something the older brother doesn't want or need. Not now anyway, because the only thing that helps was the whiskey. The booze numbed his feelings and made the time go by somewhat more bearable.

"Dean, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm peachy."

"Uh, no you're not." Sam sat on the bed next to the upset young man, "Dean, you are grieving, but liqueur is not the answer. Please talk to me and let me help because Cas was my friend too."

"I said I'm fine, Sam!" Dean barked.

"No, you lost someone and you need to talk about how much you miss him."

"What the hell…are you Dr. Phil now?" Dean sarcastically questioned, "I really don't do chick-flick moments, you know."

"Yeah, that's it, be a jerk now." Sam huffed. "I know you're hurting because you lost the guy you love, so why don't you let me help. I've been there with Jess and I know exactly how you feel."

"Listen Sam, I know you want to help but I'm dealing with it, okay?"

"Keeping it all inside and washing it down with booze isn't dealing with it."

"Fine, what do you want me to say…that you're right?" Dean mocked, "Yeah, the person who I fucking pledged my love to has died and isn't coming back. There I said it…can we move on now?"

"Dean you can ridicule me all you want and deep down you know that I am right. All this drinking is gonna drive you straight to depression and make you weak, but I'm going to be there to help you through this." Sam stood, "Mark my words, you're heading in a downward spiral, but I'll be there when you crash. And it's going be a hard crash too; however, if you let me help now then we'll be much stronger to fight the Leviathans."

"So, you think my _so-called_ drinking problem is gonna hurt us in hunting those bastards down." Dean stood in front of his taller sibling, "Well, thanks a lot for your total confidence in me. I'm gonna take a shower now, hopefully you left enough hot water."

Knowing this conversation is currently over; Sam reluctantly sat back on the bed. "Yeah, of course I did."

The heartbroken man closed the bathroom door and stared into the mirror, sighing, "Thanks, Sammy, but I gotta take care of this myself."

With a lump in his throat, Sam pleaded to heaven. "Please, God, help my brother through this mess by bringing Castiel back." Taking a deep breath, he added, "And Castiel, if you can hear me, please do anything to be back here with Dean…he misses and needs you and I'm extremely worried about his fate."

Dean watched the water roll off of his skin as the water turned cold. While drying himself off, he noticed the prune fingertips on his hands. Once again time had flown by and Dean didn't seem to notice since he can't concentrate on the simple things in life.

The dazed man emerged from the bathroom just as his younger brother hung up the phone. "I hope you don't mind if I ordered a pizza and chicken wings."

"That's sounds great but I'm surprised you want to eat that greasy crap." Dean said with a smirk.

"Dude, I wanted to cheer ya up."

"Thanks, Sammy."

They eat in somewhat silence and watch a rerun of 'T.J. Hooker' before lights out. Sam easily fell into a deep slumber as Dean heard him softly snoring, but just like many nights before, the oldest Winchester could only dream of happier times with the man he loved.

After three hours of interrupted sleep, Dean is awaken by a semi-truck's horn. Knowing full well he would not be able to fall back asleep, he decided to fetch coffee and breakfast. Dean quietly changed his clothes and left a note for his younger brother.

Once outside, he decided to walk to a nearby restaurant, afraid to hear Aerosmith on the radio again. Upon entering the diner, a waitress sat him at the counter along with many truck drivers and took his order as she served a much needed cup of black coffee.

"Hey, Alan, did you hear what happened to Mario?" The husky man sitting next to Dean asked another male sitting at the end of the counter.

"No, Joshua, what happened?" Alan responded as he poured syrup on his flapjacks.

"Dude, you're not gonna believe the shit Mario's been sayin'. He uh…" Joshua paused and then chuckled, "He swore on his momma's grave that he saw an angel save the life of a little boy."

The men at the counter all laughed and then the waitress asked why it's so funny.

"Well, darlin', Mario said that this angel had a deep voice and get this…the angel wore a trench coat."

The men and the waitress all laughed again as Dean shot out of the diner. Running as fast as he could, Dean was now in the motel parking lot staring at the Impala's trunk. Just as he was about to open it, Sam appeared next to him, startling the oldest brother.

"Dude, where's breakfast?"

When his brother doesn't respond, Sam tapped him on the shoulder. "Dean, what's wrong?"

"Sammy, when is the last time you saw Cas' trench coat?" He asked while still staring at the trunk.

"Dean, you're scaring me." Sam slightly moved in front of his sibling. "It's in the trunk, where it has been for weeks. What's going on?"

"Sam, open it."

"Uh, okay." Sam cautiously said as the trunk slowly opened and found no coat. "Oh man, where is it?"

"Some dude at the diner was talking about a guy named Mario who saw an angel wearing a trench coat save a little boy." Dean said and then took a deep breath, "We gotta go back there and get details."

"Yeah, yeah." Sam agreed. "I'll drive, okay?"

Dean nodded and tossed the keys as the Impala sped to the diner in the matter of seconds. Both ran through the doors and were immediately greeted by the same waitress.

"Well, you did come back after all." She announced with a smile as she admired Sam. "And you brought a handsome friend. Have a seat guys and I'll bring y'all your order."

Dean went back in his seat as Sam sat next to him. "Uh, Sir…" Dean spoke to Joshua. "Can you tell my friend here what you were sayin' about that angel?"

"Why do y'all wanna know?" Joshua asked, "Are ya cops?"

Sam chuckled, "No, we're reporters from Texas and thought we might interview you for a story. Do you mind?"

Several men in the diner laugh when Joshua excitedly accepted. Sam asked for him to tell the story again and got all the information they needed to find Mario and maybe Castiel. The brothers finish their breakfast and went to check out of the motel to start the journey of finding a certain angel.

Sam drove to the spot where the incident happened with the little boy. Much to their hopes, there was no sulfur or hex bags. Dean instantaneously called Bobby while Sam posed as an FBI Agent and spoke with the local authorities.

While waiting for his brother and Bobby to help him with the leads, Dean could only dream of Cas returning safely. _It has to be him, I know it._

Meeting on the outside of town, Bobby filled the Winchesters in on the information he had gathered. All agree no demons or evil-beings were involved, thus it must be Castiel.

"I'm sorry to ask this, but if it's Cas then why hasn't he contacted either of you?" Bobby inquired, "Dean, did you and Cas have a fight or something?"

"Bobby!" Sam barked.

"Sorry, Sam, but I need to know."

"Guys look, Cas and I haven't been arguing or anything. The sex was awesome and we even planned to…" Dean paused and looks away.

"What?" The older hunter asked, "What were you planning?"

"We were gonna get married and take a honeymoon to the Grand Canyon." Dean chuckled, "I know it's not my thing or what not, but we were in love and I wanted to show him that with the whole damn world ending, we could be partners for life. I even got us matching wedding rings."

Dean took the rings out of his pocket and handed them to his brother, who saw the inscriptions, _**For Life**_. He then carefully handed them back to Dean and were put back into his pocket.

"Well, let's go find that angel boyfriend of yours." Bobby said with a hint of parental authority.

After talking again to the little boy and Mario, all the information led to a minister named Wes Thompson at _The Church of Hope_. Bobby chatted with the minister while the Winchesters investigated the surrounding property.

Sam searched a barn and several vehicles as Dean explored the rectory. Once inside Dean followed the sound of music being played in the basement. And then was immediately frozen by what he saw…or who he saw.

"Cas?" Dean softly asked.

The male playing the piano stopped to look up and with tears in his beautiful blue eyes, "Hello, Dean."

The hunter was in such a shocked state and could not move or talk, until Sam appeared throwing holy water in the piano man's face.

"Sam! What the hell?"

"Sorry Dean, but we have to know if this really is Castiel."

"Dean, your brother is right." The angel answered as he wiped his face. "And I am not a demon, but do what you need to do to prove it."

Sam mumbled certain Latin words as Dean rolled his eyes. Castiel then sat back down at the piano and continued playing, much to Dean's delight.

"Cas, I'm glad you remembered this."

"Is he playing _'Highway to Hell'?_" Sam confusingly asked, looking to his older sibling.

"Yeah, it's _our_ song." Dean softly chuckled, "It was playing on the radio when we first kissed. It seemed somewhat appropriate at the time."

Castiel stopped playing that song and started playing _'Pour Some Sugar on Me'_ by Def Leppard, thus making Dean happily grin.

"Oh man, please don't tell me that this is the song for…you know." Sam pleaded as Dean smirked.

"Eww...way too much information." Sam mentioned in a low tone.

"No Sam, it's not gross or morbid. This was the song that was playing when Dean and I consummated our love through a sexual act." Castiel calmly said as he kept playing.

"Yeah Cas, I got it the first time and I still say, eww."

Suddenly the door was being opened by the minister and Bobby, who immediately stare at the trio.

"Boys, you're not gonna believe who this minister really is? And his name isn't Wes Thompson either." Bobby asked as the brothers baffling nod. "It's Balthazar."

"Hello, boys." Balthazar responded in a sarcastic tone. "It took you long enough to find us...I mean Castiel."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well, Dean...my brother here would not get in touch with you again, due to the fact he feels unworthy of your love." Balthazar briefly paused, "I took matters in my own hands to get you two back together. Frankly, I could not care one way or the other, but there is only so much depression one can stand. I created a situation for Castiel to save a young boy in the same town you were in, thus leading you both back to one another."

"Wait, you put that young boy's life in danger, so Dean and I could be together again?" Cas angrily inquired.

"Yes, I did." Balthazar cheerily responded. "And no need to thank me though. It was a great plan and I knew it would work, especially by adding the trench coat. I am truly amazing and I should be named a saint for this.

"Yeah, you're a real saint, you douche bag."

"Well, Dean..." Balthazar paused to move into the young hunter's personal space. "How was life really like without Castiel? Did you really enjoy the sleepless, booze filled nights? And that young boy's life was in good hands...Castiel's."

Still facing one another, Dean was a loss for words, knowing the man was stating the truth. He begged for Cas' return, not thinking about the consequences.

Dean walked over to the piano and pulled Castiel up, their foreheads tenderly touching. "I would've done anything to get you back, so having that little boy put into danger was all my fault. But why didn't you get in touch with me as soon as ya got back?"

"I didn't think I was worthy of your love anymore." Cas softly replied as he turned his back toward the man he loves.

"Dude, how could ya think that?" Dean turned the blue-eyed angel slowly around, then wiping tears from both of their eyes. "I love you now more than I ever have, I don't care what you did, coz I know that you thought you were doing what you thought was right. It's all been forgotten and we can move forward, both as a couple and to fight the Leviathans."

Dean cupped the angel's face and brought him into a long, deep sensual kiss. Holding each other tightly, the couple embraced into another loving kiss.

The other men in the room are relieved, yet uncomfortable with the erotic passion that had come over the duo.

"Well, I guess you're both back together then, so what's next?" Bobby questioned.

"Whoa, whoa, no one's going anywhere until we do this." Dean stated with sincerity.

Getting down on one knee, Dean asked, "I already got your answer the first time I proposed, but Cas, will you still marry me?"

Castiel got on one knee too, "Of course I will. I am truly grateful that you still want me to be your wedded spouse."

"Dude, I told ya last time that you don't hafta get on one knee too." Dean declared as the others laugh.

Dean pulled the man he loves into another deep kiss, then slipped on the wedding band. "_**For Life**_."

"Yes, Dean, _**for life**_."

"Cas, it doesn't matter if we're together for a year or ten. As long as we're together we can handle anything this crappy world throws at us. I love you." Dean announced. "We'll fight those Leviathans, plus anything else along the way and finally we'll have that awesome honeymoon, okay?"

"That sounds wonderful, Dean. And I love you too." Castiel said, "So, no sexual relations til then?"

"Oh hell no!" Dean exclaimed, "Tonight is our wedding night and I'm gonna make those motel walls shake like a damn earthquake."

"Eww!" The other men shouted in unison.

"Yeah, mock us or whatever." The oldest Winchester replied, "But I got my angel back and nothing is gonna keep us apart."

Dean pulled Cas into another passionate kiss and led him out the door softly singing-

"You're my angel  
>Come and save me tonight<br>You're my angel  
>Come and make it alright<br>You're my angel  
>Come and save me tonight."<p>

The End


End file.
